


The Second Time Around

by catbirdradio



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/F, Flirting, Happy Ending, Kissing, Leliana and warden ends up together dw, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 09:35:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9999041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catbirdradio/pseuds/catbirdradio
Summary: Leliana loved the Warden- and she'll love her forever, even when Tabris loved someone else and would never return her feelings. However, having her back by Leliana's side to talk with the Inquisitor makes her realise that she was wrong all these years about who Tabris really wanted.





	

Despite defeating Corephyous, Skyhold never ceased to be chaotic. Leliana had no time to rest as she tended to endless new problems that seemed to arise daily- new enemies, visiting dignitaries and keeping Cassandra Pentaghast safe and sane as she prepared to become the new Divine. The duties of a spymaster was endless- and she found herself almost unable to keep up at times. Unlike Cullen and Josephine, Leliana no longer had her youth. If did not keep her skills honed and mind sharp- she would have collapsed under the pressure.

But she’s been doing this forever- giving her body and mind to a world that refused to let her rest and a Maker that’s made Himself clear that He didn’t care.

Yes, her faith and conviction has withered away with her youth and happiness- but not the guilt, never would her relentless self-hatred and regret let go. So she keeps working- keeping the world safe from threats and enemies until physical exhaustion takes over, and she does it all without a single complaint.

Normally, Leliana could put up with this and try to stay apathetic to her own protesting body. But lately, she found herself growing much more irritable- acting cold and aloof to anyone coming her way. She even snapped at Josephine at some point, which she was particularly sorry about.

But Josephine was a bright girl- she figured out what was wrong before Leliana could even identify the problem herself.

“the Hero of Feralden is coming,” she observed, giving the spymaster a sympathetic look. “along with King Alistair and Queen Anora”

Her former friends- the group of people that accepted her unconditionally so long ago and saved her from herself. They would come as strangers- to talk with the Inquisitor and once again, shake the world at its core.

It’s unreasonable for Leliana to feel distress- they were her friends, for Maker’s sake, but when they were so distant, she could think of them fondly.

However, an unrelenting sickness threaten rose in her chest at the thought of them being near her once more.

And she knew exactly why.

 

* * *

 

_“your hair,” Leliana remarks, her voice in soft admiration as rang her fingers into Tabris’s raven black hair, “it’s beautiful- I love the simple way you wear it”_

_“t-thank you,” she blushed, a streak pink in her tan, freckled cheek. Leliana wanted to laugh- a deadly rogue, the last grey warden, blushing and stuttering at a flirtatious compliment, who would have thought this was her weakness?_

_“you’re welcome,” she says instead, unable to keep a wide smile off her face, “now, what would you like to talk about?”_

_Tabris pauses, bites her lip and blurts out: “I want to know more about you,”_

_“oh,” Leliana breathes, stunned at the moment. She did not expect this from the Warden- or anyone in her party- who has been avoiding her like the plague since meeting in that Tavern._

_She had introduced herself in the most insane way possible, and everyone, including Leliana was shocked when Tabris let her join._

_The Warden had always surprised in her wonderful ways. It hasn’t been long, but Leliana didn’t want to think about what life would be like had she not met the brave elf._

_“a-anything in particular you’d like to know?” she asks, slightly cautious. Some parts of her life was dangerous, and there are stories even she didn’t like to tell._

_“nothing much,” Tabris reassures her quickly, probably catching on to Leliana’s suspicions, “I… just wanted to know if, um, you left anyone behind- in Lothering”_

_“ah,” Leliana smiles brightly, more open than before “no, I have no lovers to return to”_

_“that, good to know,” Tabris muttered shyly, and digs into her pocket. “b-because I got you something”_

_“wonderful!” Leliana exclaims- her heart-warming at the thought that Tabris was thinking of her,_

_“I haven’t even shown you yet!” the Warden protests, then adds dejectedly “what if you hate it?”_

_“I’d still love the fact that you thought of me, now, please, do not agonize me further and show me your gift,”_

_Taking a deep breath, Tabris pulls out a small ensemble of white flowers- with a wonderful, familiar aroma- tied with a thin, white ribbon._

_“oh,” Leliana barely recognized her own voice- filled with happiness and appreciation, “y-you remembered”_

_“of course,” Tabris says softly, her hand draped over Leliana’s trembling ones, and handed her the Andraste’s Grace, “I hope this makes you feel a bit better- I know it’s hard on the road and with everything you’ve been through- but I want you to know that I care, and I’ll always be there for you”_

_Without a word, Leliana pulls the Warden into a tight hug, the flowers squished between them. She watched Tabris smile beautifully as she tucked the flowers into her own pocket._

_She kept them for as long as she could, until they dried and withered away. And even then, she could not give them up, she waited for the plants to slowly fallout on their own instead. This gesture kept her glowing weeks after the flowers were gone._

_Until Tabris had her own. A plain, red rose from Alistair in her own pack- staring at her mockingly as she repressed her own disappointment._

 

* * *

 

 

The Hero looked as unhappy as she did when the time came, behind a practised, pleasant smile was misery, and it made Leliana’s heartache.

All of a sudden, she felt an unusual urge to embrace her old friend- but that would be inappropriate, so she doesn’t.

Instead, she lets the Warden greet the Inquisitor and wait alongside her for the king and queen of Feralden to arrive.

Alistair looked different too- a long time ago, he seemed so innocent, and eager to do right by the Wardens. Of course, he felt his share of pain from his own tragic childhood and the loss of the only good parental figure he had- but there was still light in his eyes.

Now, Leliana’s not so sure. Because Alistair looked as cold as she did, not even reacting to Tabris standing so close to him.

When they first broke up- Leliana remember how much he would pine. Looking sadly at the Warden every time she was near, and cried silently when he thought no one was watching. This had gone on for years- Leliana had to admit that he truly loved her, and losing her over his own duty had been the hardest thing he’s done. Despite her own feelings for Tabris- she felt sorry for him and wished him no harm for breaking her heart. She knows what it was like to have the world take what you love from you- and she could never hate him because of that.

Now, she was not sorry at all. His love was only temporary- Alistair had moved on, he’s changed into someone Leliana could barely recognize.

Meanwhile, being near the Warden had sparked her own heartache once again. And she just _wants_ , she wants Tabris alone, in her arms and away from the rest of the world.

“I’d be happy to support the Inquisition how I can,” Tabris announces politely, taking no time to make the decision, “all my resources and connections are at your disposal”

Anora glares- Leliana resisted the urge to roll her eyes or smiling in satisfaction at the proud woman. According to her intelligence, Anora had plans to leash the Inquisition- refuse them Feralden’s trust and support, but still come out with an alliance to do her dirty work as she pleased.

But with the Warden’s unconditional support, any criticism or doubt would make her look bad- Feralden and the world loved the Hero more than they loved her. Some still call them usurpers- and many non-human circles believed that Tabris should have ruled. Of course, this line of thought is frowned upon, but so many people worshipped the Warden that Anora could never put a stop to it.

The rest of the talks were rather uneasy, as Leliana predicted. Anora was hostile, of course, in a way that would not sound offensive. And the Inquisitor, well trained in politics thanks to Leliana, squashed any of her attempts to interrogate her and the Warden. Alistair didn’t seem to have much to say, but Leliana knew better than to disregard him- he was always listening, learning, and that had made him as dangerous as anyone else at the table.

And the Warden herself surprised Leliana once again. She didn’t seem to care a bit about the talks- she only kept looking Leliana’s way- her quiet, sad eyes stared almost longingly when she thought Leliana would not notice. It was very distracting- Leliana did not know how to feel about this- but her heart pounded away.

 

* * *

 

 

_Leliana couldn’t keep her own heart from attempting to leap out of her chest as Tabris rolled even closer by her side._

_The sight of a tired, sleepy warden was absolutely astonishing. With her hair wet and lips turned up into a relaxed smile, Leliana decided that Tabris was the most beautiful creature she has ever seen. She’d act offended in Tabris’s honor when Zevran made crude comments about her appearance, but secretly she agreed. The elf can be very seductive sometimes without even knowing- by no means was Tabris innocent, but lately, things haven’t been good with the Dalish, so she had been nothing but serious._

_And now, her pretty head was tucked against Leliana’s chest and a light moan escapes her lips,_

_“this feels nice,” the words coming out of her lips sounded like a purr, “I didn’t know the Dalish had such soft beds!”_

_“that is my breast you’re talking about,” Leliana teased, and listened to Tabris’s light, fluttery giggle,_

_“would you mind if I lay on it forever?” she says happily, grinning up and the former chantry sister,_

_“I told you before, you may use me however you please,” Leliana winks, earning a laugh from the Warden,_

_“beautiful and kind,” Tabris fakes a loud, dramatic sigh, “how do I keep myself from falling in love?”_

_“with foolish half-prince boys that smell like dog,” Leliana retorts- her voice light, but feeling slightly bitter all of a suddenly thinking of Alistair,_

_“what?” Tabris scoffed, giving Leliana a look of confusion, “Alistair and I are not together”_

_A hopeful spark lit inside Leliana’s heart, and she had to force herself to not grow too excited,_

_“do you wish you were?” Leliana asks, soft and unsure if she wanted an answer_

_The Warden looked thoughtful for a moment, then answered what Leliana believe was honest,_

_“I-I’m not sure,” Tabris says slowly, “he’s very sweet, and interested- but I don’t know,”_

_Tabris gives Leliana a long look, one that Leliana can’t hope to interpret,_

_“there’s something keeping me from telling him yes,” her voice was sad, “a-and, I don’t know if I should hold on to it, it’s kind of a hopeless dream”_

_Ah. Leliana understood with bitter disappointment that Tabris had feelings for Alistair- and she had considered telling him yes, but was scared. Love was difficult, Leliana knew first hand, love was cruel and unrelenting and something no one could possibly understand- but it was a beautiful thing, and Tabris deserved it. Alistair may not be so experienced, but he was kind, and very handsome, he would make her happy. And no matter how Leliana might feel about the elf, she would never keep Tabris from being with the one she loved._

_“tell him yes,” Leliana says, her voice breaking. This was much harder than she thought, “y-you’ll be so happy together”_

_“Oh. Alright.” was the flat, tired response- before Leliana could see what she was thinking, Tabris gets off her chest and turns the other way. They don’t talk anymore that night._

_The next day, Alistair kisses her for the first time- and Leliana felt much less selfless than last night. She waits until she knew she was alone, and cries lonely, bitter tears- knowing that her feelings would never be returned._

 

* * *

 

 

“can we talk?” a smooth voice pulled Leliana away from her hurried movement.

She turns around to see the Warden, looking particularly pensive, so she stops and gives Tabris her complete attention.

“of course,” Leliana crosses her arms, “I’d be happy to discuss whatever it is that you feel might be important,”

“it’s,” a long tired sigh comes out, “it’s not that, I just thought we could… catch up, we are friends, are we not?”

“you are my most treasured friend,” it sounded fake, “I’d be happy to show you around”

“thanks,” Tabris returns a pressed smile, and she looks away for a second, “so, the divine and the inquisition? Everyone’s gone on to do great things”

“I suppose,” Leliana shrugged, “save the world once, people will expect you to do it again”

“not me,” Tabris gives her a sad look, and Leliana can’t help but ache, “I hid,”

“you almost died,” Leliana says softly, the memory still fresh on her mind, “you deserve your space”

“we all did,” Tabris shrugged, “I don’t know what makes me so special,”

 _You led us, made all of the sacrifices, and you were prepared to die for us all this whole time_ , Leliana thought,

“did Morrigan teach you that self-depreciative spiel” Leliana jokes instead, “she always did make everyone feel insignificant”

“not really, speaking of Morrigan, I heard she was here for awhile, I’m sorry I missed her”

“don’t be” Leliana snorts, “that woman has become worse, I imagine working with Empress Celine has made her more arrogant than ever,”

Tabris laughs, and it was a light, pretty sound. Leliana felt proud to be the one drawing it out of her. It felt just like old times, idle gossip and chatter- they could talk for hours about anything, until Sten told them to shut up and get a move on, of course.

Those were the better days, when Tabris was actually happy- but the world would never be content with that.

Tragedy struck as Alistair realised that becoming king was a possibility, and that life did not involve Tabris. On top of that, her family had called for help- Tevinter mages had taken her father. Leliana has never seen Tabris so broken.

 

* * *

 

 

_Alistair hasn’t talked to her for days since he left her, and Leliana watched Tabris look his way with sad, longing eyes, tears threatening to spill every time he was near._

_A while ago, Tabris confessed to her that Alistair was the first man he loved- and she was finally happy._

_She told Leliana about life in the Alienage, and how she became a warden. It was tragic, and Leliana fumed at the audacity of those men. In her own life time, she has met men like this, but as a human, her word was at least respected by the authorities. And if she wanted to take action for their crimes, it was acceptable- but an elf doing the same thing was unspoken of, and their whole community would be punished. It was unfair, and Leliana hated it. She wished she had been in Denerim, helping them instead of Duncan. She would have killed them all, one by one until Tabris and her cousin were satisfied._

_Instead- Tabris almost died for rescuing the women, and her actions brought a purge to her home. Leliana could only hold her as she cried._

_“why are you so kind to me?” Tabris sniffled, “I don’t deserve it. I couldn’t help Shianni, I couldn’t help my people and I-I couldn’t help Alistair. What good am I?”_

_Leliana felt her heart shatter,_

_“no,” she whispers softly, “you tried your best, you saved everyone you could, the world would have burned without you,”_

_“thank you for saying that,” a small smile appears, and disappears just as quickly, “and thank you for sticking with me through all of this- I couldn’t have asked for a better friend”_

_“you saved me too, you know,” Leliana confessed, “you gave me purpose, and a chance to do something good- I don’t know what I’d be without you”_

_Tabris stares at her, shock and affection in her eyes, and Leliana felt her knees go weak,_

_“Leliana,” she says, “you were always a good person, I’ve never done anything expect let you join me on this crazy, dangerous mission. I’ve known that since the day I met you, that you were beautiful and strong- and I think with or without me, you’d do something great”_

_“oh.” Was all Leliana could say, Tabris words were so achingly honest, and she isn’t quite sure that she deserved it. But Tabris couldn’t be lying, Leliana had told her of her own past- and Tabris never judged her. She truly believed in Leliana- like no one ever did._

_What happened next, Leliana did not plan- her body acted over her mind as she pulled the Warden into a kiss- soft and slow. Tabris made a small noise of surprise, but didn’t push away. Leliana tasted her salty tears and soft lips- trying to make a memory._

_When she pulled away, Leliana examined Tabris’s expression. She was stunned, but smiling, face flushed in embarrassment._

_This could be a good thing._

_“You’ve moved on, I see.” A cold voice interrupts their moment. They both turn around._

_“Alistair,” Leliana crosses her arm, undaunted,_

_“with her of all people?” he sounded angry, directing his question at a stunned Tabris, “d-did you even care about me- about us?”_

_“I- Alistair” she sighed, sounding more composed than Leliana thought she'd be “of course I did, I loved you- and I still do, but you said there’s no chance for us, a-and I never planned to kiss her, please, stop making accusations”_

_Alistair looked crestfallen- Leliana felt sorry for him all of a sudden. Tabris was Alistair’s first love too, he must have felt so betrayed._

_“I-I was going tell you something,” Alistair began, his voice cracking, “I was going to tell you that I chose you- and give Feralden to Anora because I love you more than anything in this world- but I guess I was too late, or maybe you didn’t love me as much as I thought you did. Maybe Morrigan was right, I am a complete idiot”_

_Tabris didn’t chase after him as he ran- Leliana supposed she was too shocked, or sad, knowing that she might have ruined her last chance with the man she loved._

_And it was all Leliana’s fault._

_She kissed Tabris, and Alistair saw. She ruined everything._

_Tabris didn’t speak to either of them for days, and Alistair confirmed with Anora that he would rule alongside her._

 

* * *

 

 

Leliana and Tabris were alone in the gardens, it was much too late for anyone else to be out. The have spent hours talking, catching up, and it made her feel much lighter.

Now, sitting here, underneath the stars felt different. Both of them were silent, not much to say at this point. But just being next to Tabris made Leliana feel whole, like it was where she was meant to be. She knows she's being stupid- letting Tabris use her innocent, unassuming charms to make her feel young and carefree- and the next day, they would be apart again. Leliana could not keep her, no matter how much she wanted to.

“I suppose I should retire to my chambers,” Tabris says, breaking the comfortable slience, “we have a long day ahead us,”

“yes, I will walk you,” Leliana answers as they both make their way back to the castle.

It wasn’t a long distance, but they took their time, trying to not be so loud and wake up her own men. Reaching Tabris’s guest room, Leliana prepared to leave,

“Wait!” Tabris called- her voice sounding urgent yet unsure, Leliana turns around. “I-I came here for you, by the way”

 _Oh_. Leliana froze, heart pounding. That was surprising- and Leliana had no idea how to respond.

“I love you,” she confesses, her voice soft and cracking, “I loved you since I met you, and I loved you all these years- I’m sorry, that’s why I’m here.”

The words that Leliana wanted to hear for so long came out of Tabris’s lips- and Leliana didn’t know how to react, so she just stood there.

“I-I know you don’t return these feelings,” Tabris’s voice was sad, “I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry, good night”

Before Tabris could turn around, Leliana held the elf tightly in her arms, her hands running through the familiar, soft, raven black hair.

“I love you too,” she replies, tears falling down her own face, “I love you so much, I-”

Tabris cut her off- pressing her lips against Leliana’s and kissed her with so much desperation, like it was the only thing the wanted in the entire world.

This time, there were no interruptions, no ex-lovers and nothing to stop them except the limitations of their own lungs.

And for the first time in almost forever, Leliana was happy.

**Author's Note:**

> all mistakes are mine, enjoy


End file.
